Worked all day yesterday on the rental, so I didn’t get to post. Not that there was too much interesting to talk about when you’re cleaning walls and pools. Saw a pretty good movie last night though called “Max.” It was about Hitler when he was a young, aspiring artist who was trying to work something out with a jewish art dealer (played by John Cusack). It was kind of odd seeing a depiction of that side of him. You could certainly see he was mad and filled with hate even at that early age, but he had other artistic ambitions which seemed to be thwarted by his lack of vision. It was strange to see him in front of his canvas struggling to put down a dab of paint, paralyzed by fear, and identifying with and understanding that fear. Cusack, upon hearing some of his hate-filled speeches, told him to paint his rage, but he could never produce the courage to do that on his canvases, instead painting pretty little pictures of countrysides (kind of like the one I did above.) The movie ends on a bit of irony and we all know the real story of Hitler. However, taking something else from the movie, I’d like to be able to do what Cusack says and paint my emotions, whether rage or happiness or whatever it maybe, and do away with the drive to paint pretty, bland little pictures. I’ve wanted to for so long, but somehow can’t get over the fear (the fear of what, I’m not sure.) Tomorrow will be a new beginning in my search for truth and vision in art.